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Real Answers™
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Copyright: © 2010 Gregory J. Rummo
715 words

PRAISE THE LORD:  HUMMINGBIRDS DON'T HAVE 'MIDDLE FINGERS'

By: Gregory J. Rummo

The other night I was lying in bed alongside my 8-year old daughter. We had been out in the yard like two kids, actually, enjoying a cool, late July evening spread out on a chaise cushion on the patio watching hummingbirds come and go to my feeder for almost an hour.

By the time darkness and the mosquitoes had driven us into the house my younger 6-year old daughter had already fallen asleep across the room in her own bed. 

Our habit almost every night involves sharing a story—either we read from a book or I make up some incredible fantasy or share some funny incident that happened from my past from the archives of a way too vivid memory that goes all the way back to the pre-K years. This is followed by a short prayer, hugs and kisses and then it’s lights out.  

But this night was different.

As we were lying together, speaking in hushed voices so as not to awaken Rachel, Rebecca says to me, “Daddy, I have something to tell you.”

 “Go ahead,” I said hesitantly, sensing that there was something troubling her. Rebecca is a very perceptive eight-year old. She knows when something needs to be shared with daddy in quiet confidence, a trait I hope she will retain for the rest of her life.

 “Do you know who Lady Gaga is?” she asks me innocently. 

 “Yes,” I answered wondering where that came from. “She is a singer,” I hedged, trying not to be judgmental while knowing full well what kind of a raw, in-your-face lifestyle she embraces. 

“Well I heard some of my friends talking about her and they said that she was at Yankee Stadium and she held up the middle finger… That means all the curse words together—right daddy?” 

WOW! Talk about a topic from left field. Frankly, I hadn’t heard this little tidbit of trivia probably because I don’t spend my time dumpster diving on the Internet. So I had to Google “Lady Gaga middle finger Yankee Stadium,” to learn that yes, she in fact had flipped off a sports photographer earlier in June but this was simply the piéce de résistance. There was, in fact more to the story.

The Mail, A UK newspaper reported that she had “flashed her underwear under an ill-fitting Yankees shirt which she tugged down during the unofficial anthem ‘God Bless America’.” Actually all she was wearing was the Yankee jersey—partially unbuttoned—and a black bra and panties underneath (I can only assume she wore black for the contrast.)

So here I am, lying in bed next to my sweet, little, innocent daughter, wondering how I am going to explain “the middle finger” in such a way to avoid the endless stream of “But why, daddy,” follow up questions that hemming and hawing always generates.

I begin by telling her that there are some people who do not have good manners, who do not know how to behave themselves in public, who are loud and rude when they should be quiet and kind and who have potty mouths.

“They are immature; they do this to get attention,” I add, knowing that this is exactly why such uncivil behavior is acted out in public by these less than savory characters. “You don’t do things like this because you are a real lady.” 

I wait for a minute or so. There are no further questions so I kiss Rebecca good night, grateful that it’s dark enough to hide the expression of worry I am wearing across my face—worry that although I and many parents of like mind are doing our best to let our children remain children as long as possible, there are strong forces at work dragging them into adulthood long before they are ready.

The Bible says that “praise,” not questions about “the middle finger,” raised defiantly by an immature rebel in public, should be forthcoming “from the lips of children and babies.” The kind of praise that wells up in the heart of a child as she lies alongside her father on a chaise cushion watching the hummingbirds come and go in the cool of a summer evening.

Gregory J. Rummo is a businessman, journalist, and the author of “The View from the Grass Roots,” and “The View from the Grass Roots – Another Look.” Contact him at GregRummo.com.

"Real Answers™" furnished courtesy of The Amy Foundation Internet Syndicate. To contact the author or The Amy Foundation, write or E-mail to: P. O. Box 16091, Lansing, MI 48901-6091; amyfoundtn@aol.com

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